We are mistaken if we hope that our spiritual seeking will have only one beginning with one course and one ending. Such an expectation will never be fulfilled. There will always be several stages in our experience of the Lord, and each stage will have a beginning, a course, and an ending. This is clearly seen in the biographies of normal believers throughout church history. For example, according to her autobiography, Madame Guyon did not stumble, but she experienced several new beginnings. She said that she renewed her bridal covenant with the Lord. Every renewal of her bridal covenant was a new beginning. Before she could experience a new beginning, she must have experienced an end, a conclusion, to the previous stage. Hence, even if we do not stumble, there should be many new beginnings in our spiritual pursuit. This means that we must come to an end so that we can have another beginning.
After obtaining a sense of satisfaction in the process of pursuing and following the Lord, it is normal to feel empty and dissatisfied and to feel that we have lost the Lord’s presence. This feeling of emptiness and dissatisfaction is a sign, telling us that it is time for a new beginning. This feeling of dissatisfaction can be likened to the green traffic signal that tells us to advance. A red light tells us to stop, but when the light turns green, we can continue on our journey. The inner feeling of dissatisfaction is the green light in our spiritual journey. Dissatisfaction includes feelings of darkness, emptiness, oldness, weakness, and losing heart. It also includes the sense of being unable to touch the Lord’s presence, of losing our taste for prayer, of not receiving light from the Bible, of being dry when giving messages, and of losing the anointing. These feelings are not accidental. They are a sign, telling us that it is time for a new pursuit.
The more we fellowship, the more we will sense our need for a new beginning. The church has reached the ending of one stage and therefore needs a new beginning. If we do not have a new beginning, we will inevitably fall into formal service and religious worship.
Formal service and religious worship involve observing rules and following regulations. Our service may have been living and fresh seven or eight years ago, but it will be dead and old if we are still serving in the same way. For example, the Old Testament service was living at Moses’ time, but after many years it lost its vitality and became dead. In order to be delivered from formal service and religious worship, the church must have a new beginning. This does not mean that we need a new method or a new way. Our ground is right. The way that we carry out the service is also right, but it lacks vitality. I hope that the serving ones can sense the oldness. The serving ones must have a new beginning so that they can influence the saints and thus cause the churches to have a new beginning.
In order to have a new beginning, we must have a new consecration. Someone may say, “I have consecrated myself many times; I do not have anything else to consecrate.” However, we must consecrate ourselves afresh every time we have a new beginning.
With every new pursuit we also must have a new dealing. After our consecration there must be a new dealing. On the surface Song of Songs does not concern dealings; however, if we study this book in depth, we will see that there are dealings hidden in it. After the seeker reached the fullness in the first stage, she lingered in her experience and cared for that experience instead of for her beloved. As a result, when she rose up to seek her beloved, he did not let her find him (2:16—3:3). This was a discipline. Such discipline educates and trains us to know that we are not in the position to decide anything related to our communion with the Lord. We must let the Lord decide everything. If the Lord wants to come, we must let Him come; if the Lord wants to stay, we must let Him stay; and if the Lord wants to go, we must let Him go. We do not have a say in these matters. This is clearly portrayed in the second stage in Song of Songs.
In 3:1-4 the seeker says, “On my bed night after night / I sought him whom my soul loves; / I sought him, but found him not. / I will rise now and go about in the city; / In the streets and in the squares / I will seek him whom my soul loves. / I sought him, but found him not. / The watchmen who go about in the city found me— / Have you seen him whom my soul loves? / Scarcely had I passed them / When I found him whom my soul loves; / I held him and would not let go / Until I had brought him into my mother’s house / And into the chamber of her who conceived me.” In these verses the seeker rises up to seek her beloved, but she cannot find him. She goes out to look for him but cannot find him. She then inquires of others about him but to no avail. When she is disappointed and helpless, her beloved comes, and she finds him. When she wants her beloved, he stays away from her, but when she is fully disappointed, he comes to her. The Lord uses such experiences to train us. When we cannot find the Lord, we may be full of remorse, thinking, “I hold on to my opinion when I fellowship with the Lord. This is my sin.” In the depth of our being we might sense that we need to deal with a sin, but it is not something outward or superficial. Those who genuinely seek the Lord do not necessarily deal with outward or superficial sins. Other believers might not see the sins that we have committed, because our problems with the Lord issue from the depth of our being. Hence, we need to deal with the sins that are within us. This requires a fresh consecration related to the dealing that causes us to rise up to pursue the Lord.
Our consecration and dealings with the Lord are continuous and should get deeper. Our initial consecration is somewhat shallow. Prior to our salvation we may have indulged in the pleasures of the world and in sinful things, but after our salvation we are willing to consecrate our time, money, and energy to the Lord for His use. This consecration is good, but it is not deep. We must have more consecrations. Perhaps the Lord will cause us to sense that a part of our being is still not open to Him or that there is something that we are not willing to drop. In the past the Lord would not touch such matters, but now He will not let these go. This is when we need to renew our consecration. We might be loose in outward matters, such as our time and our money, so the Lord will touch these matters because we have consecrated them to Him. But He is also concerned with the problem within us. There was a reservation within us when we first consecrated ourselves, but the Lord was tolerant. Now, however, He wants us to hand over to Him the things we have reserved. If we are not willing to let them go, we can lose His presence, and we will not be enlivened. This is the time when we must have a deeper consecration.
The Lord may deal with a brother concerning individualism. Although this brother does not argue with others, he does not like to be with other brothers. This is individualism. The Lord wants us to see that we are individualistic and that we must deal with it, but we insist on keeping our individualistic habits. This insistence makes us old and causes us to lose our freshness and vitality. Although we were individualistic when we received the Lord, He did not touch it; hence, we were fresh. Now, however, the Lord is touching our individualism and wants us to drop it, but if we are unwilling to renew our consecration in this matter, He will not let us go. As a result, we will lose our freshness and become old, and those with whom we fellowship will touch oldness and staleness instead of freshness and life. Furthermore, it will be difficult for us to advance in the Lord.
In order to have a new beginning, there must be consecration and dealings. This is a principle. However, our consecration and dealings in the different stages differ in depth. Initially, the dealings are outward and superficial, but with time they become deeper and finer, and even our spiritual experiences are dealt with. Abraham went through many dealings, and eventually even Isaac, whom Abraham obtained through God’s grace, had to be offered (Gen. 22:1-19). Not only did he have to cast out Ishmael, who was born according to his flesh (21:9-14); Abraham had to offer up Isaac also, whom he gained through God’s promise of grace, on the altar. This was a deep and genuine consecration.
The same principle is portrayed in Song of Songs. In the fourth stage of the seeker’s experience, her previous spiritual attainments are condemned and must be consecrated. Hence, if we desire to have a new beginning, to be renewed and vitalized, we must have a new consecration and a new dealing.
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